No matter how much Scrooge lurks within us, the holidays come to everyone, especially busy families. You can’t really bar the door, not when there’s a giant wreath hanging from it. (Yep, you know you’re going to decorate that door.)

Nine Decembers ago, we added triplets to our family, a trio of baby brothers for our toddler. With four young sons in the house, every day is still a crazy party, especially during the holidays. While I love a full-on Santa explosion, sprinkled with some elves on top, our children have taught us that nothing beats cherished experiences that build relationships. That means we sift through opportunities and eliminate the extraneous mind-numbing activities that tend to de-emphasize togetherness and add stress.

Since we live in a hot and humid state, our family always anticipates the first cold snap, which requires us to build the inaugural fire of the year. Although not everyone has a fireplace, many folks enjoy a fire pit in their backyard. My kids call this “hearth time," and we accompany it with hot cocoa, a game or reading a book aloud.

In our home, we have a felt Advent tree on a door. It has tiny pockets with numbers to countdown the days until Christmas. Treats are left in the pockets as well as suggestions for the children about how they can help around the house or ways they can serve.

Another tradition we’ve adopted centers on loving neighbors. We get the name of a child or children through our church to help with their Christmas, then take our boys shopping. It allows them to experience what someone else needs, ask questions, and for us to have a conversation about what it must be like to need help, as well as to offer help.

Several years ago, a dear friend invited us one night to see a public lighting of the menorah in west Little Rock as our Jewish neighbors celebrated Hanukkah. The rabbi taught us more about this spiritual holiday, and his sons gave us potato latkes and our boys each received a coin and a piece of chocolate. Last year, my brother and sister-in-law joined us one evening. They agreed that it was one of the most meaningful moments of their holiday season.

If possible, we also try to see a play, musical, or “The Nutcracker.” Local theaters like Argenta Community Theater and The Arkansas Repertory Theatre will offer seasonal shows, but there are churches, local schools and music groups offering inexpensive programs the whole family can enjoy.

Perhaps the most anticipated tradition in our family takes place around the new year. In honor of the prized cookie my mother made for the holidays, the five Singleton siblings all compete in the Singleton Cocoon Christmas Cookie Bake Off, which includes a blind tasting, a judging and a big reveal. One of my brother’s neighbors and their children select the winner, yet another tradition! The competition is preceded for weeks by great boasting and practice runs. My children love to bake, and the tradition connects them to generations before and extended family.

Traditions provide a way for us to mark time and make time to enjoy one another. Of all the traditions we keep this season, spending time with people we love is the most important.

Betsy Singleton Snyder is a pastor, writer and blogger. She is the author of “Stepping on Cheerios: Finding God in the Chaos and Clutter of Life,” and blogs at WomenadeStand.com, a sassy and spiritual spot to dish on the tartest and sweetest pieces of life, stand up together, and reach out in love.

Betsy and her husband, Dr. Vic Snyder, who formerly served in the U.S. House of Representatives, live in Little Rock with their four sons.