The story is timeless. Boy meets girl. Boy and girl fall in love and get married. Boy and girl live happily ever after. But in today’s times, the story doesn’t always end that way. A growing number of American love stories now end in divorce rather than at the promised “til death do us part.”

Why is it that couples, who were so in love when they married, can’t seem to make it last through the long haul? According to Bob Lepine, vice president and chief content officer of Family Life, couples fail to realize there is a “natural drift” that occurs in marriage. “I think most couples find themselves surprised in marriage when they start to feel this growing isolation,” he said. “They start to feel distance from someone that, during the dating years, [they] were growing closer and closer to.”

To combat this natural drift, Lepine advises partners to be proactive in “regular marriage maintenance.” In the same way that you get your car’s oil changed or get new tires, a marriage should be maintained before it breaks down, he said.

Here are his suggestions for keeping the spark in your partnership.

Schedule a regular date night

Lepine suggests designating a certain night of the week as “date night.” Couples need that one-on-one time, he says, to discuss how they’re doing, their jobs, what’s coming up in their lives and anything else they would have discussed when they were dating. And “date night” doesn’t have to consist of a babysitter and a fancy restaurant. If couples can’t afford that, Lepine says to get a cup of coffee at Starbucks or put the kids to bed early and order takeout at home.

“Find an economic way to make it work,” he said. “Get some uninterrupted one-on-one time.”

 Another good idea is to get some extended marriage maintenance by spending a weekend away together or attending a marriage class together. Family Life, a global non-profit organization based in Arkansas, offers “Weekend to Remember” couples retreats all over the country as opportunities for couples to reconnect and receive marriage-changing principles.

Do fun things together

Too often, Lepine says, husbands get caught up in their hobbies like football or golf and wives spend their time shopping or crafting, and they miss each other while doing their own things. Instead, couples should try to find common ground. 

“If both of you like to take walks, take walks together,” he said. “If both of you like to garden, garden together. But find some time when both of you are doing fun things together.” 

Another good idea is to find other couples to do things with and make spending time with other couples a part of your regular routine. “I think often you find out more about each other when you’re in a group dynamic,” Lepine said.

Discuss marital intimacy

One issue that is frustrating for many couples, Lepine said, is marital intimacy. “I think it’s important for couples to have candid conversations about expectations and desires,” he said. “A lot of couples feel inhibited talking about this so a lot of anger and hurt comes into the relationship. This is one of those issues that couples need to have the courage to discuss.”

Lepine said spouses should ask one another how they can love and serve each other better and then follow through. “Rather than thinking ‘if I’m in the mood'," he said, “be thinking about how to serve.”

Have a spiritual foundation

According to Lepine, couples also should not neglect the spiritual dimension of their marriage.

“Marriage is a spiritual institution: two people becoming one,” he said. “That oneness is tied together to the God who created them.” When couples grow spiritually, their marriage has a more solid foundation. It has more depth, becomes more transcendent and is a bigger part of their lives. To pursue this kind of healthy, spiritual relationship, Lepine said couples should be attending church together, praying together and reading the Bible together.

“These things will add a new level of depth and will knit them together soul to soul,” he said.

While maintaining a healthy marriage may take some work, Lepine said it is the greatest gift two parents can give to their children.

“When a marriage is strong, there is a fundamental sense of security in the heart of that child,” he said. “A child feels safe, secure and loved when he sees mom and dad committed to one another and loving one another. That is so vital to that child’s sense of well being and that child’s psyche.”