The text message cracked me up.

Her: Did you know she’s having a “gender reveal” party? By that I mean, she’s gonna cut a cake in front of a group of people and if the cake is pink, it’s a girl. If it’s blue, it’s a boy. Is this what people do now?

Me: Yes. This is what people do now. You don’t have many pregnant friends these days, do you?

Her: I was at the gym on the treadmill. The nurse called to say the tests looked good, and oh by the way, it’s a girl. I called my husband.

Me: How very 20th century of you.

Gone are the days of old wives tales involving Drano or sewing needles to guess the sex of a baby. Expectant parents have been getting ultrasounds to tell them this information as a matter of routine for some time now. But this is 2015, and anything worth doing is worth doing out loud. And, so the birth of the “Gender Reveal Party.”

“Some people take this very seriously,” says Kelli Marks, owner of Sweet Love bakery, “but some are very tongue in cheek about it.”

Marks recently baked a cake for parents using a rubber duck theme, “What the Duck is it?” She’s also done piñata cakes, where pink or blue candy came out of the middle when it was cut. She’s produced fortune cookies with “It’s a girl” as the message inside.

There aren’t any hard and fast rules to these events. Some people throw actual parties with printed invitations for guests. Others tend to be more DIY or informal gatherings. Some couples opt to find out with their guests. Others know in advance and the surprise is for their friends and family. Still others opt for a photo session to post on social media to tell their closest several hundred friends all at once.

While the very notion of a party to announce the sex of a child tends to induce massive eye rolls from old curmudgeons about “kids these days,” many report that they can be quite joyous celebrations.

“I’ve been to a couple,” says Mickey Willett, owner of The Social Type, a stationary and party store. “Both were families that didn’t have the easiest time having babies, so to get to celebrate every step was just pure joy and happiness and so much fun.”

“It can be a lot of fun to be in on a surprise,” says Marks. “I usually get a call from an ultrasound technician or an envelope with boy or girl written on a piece of paper inside it. A couple of times, when I’ve done something for a friend, I was the first non-medical person to know, which was kind of special for me.”

The only advice that seems inviolable: Do NOT find out the sex of your baby in front of friends and relatives if there is an outcome that will make you cry in disappointment. It’s super uncomfortable for your guests. There are some really unfortunate tales out there.

Interestingly, Willett reports that as she’s seeing a rise in gender reveal parties, she’s also seeing a rise in gender neutral baby showers. These parents decide to wait until birth to find out the sex of their baby. “Everything comes full circle eventually,” she says.

Recipe for a Reveal

The only limitation for these parties or photo sessions seems to the creativity of the person throwing them. A quick Google or Pinterest search reveals tons of options.

  • opening a box of balloons that are either pink or blue
  • scratch off cards that reveal the sex
  • cans of silly string in pink or blue for guests to spray
  • cracking a piñata with pink or blue tokens that fall out
  • confetti poppers with pink or blue contents
  • pink or blue painted handprints (usually of an older sibling) on a midsection of a white t-shirt worn by mom
  • pink or blue bow tied around a pregnant belly