Even knowing where to set the boundaries for your kid's technological activities requires knowing what they're up to in the first place. Here are six ways to discover their electronic activities:

1. Be curious. Curiosity does not mean interrogation. Ask questions, read articles, talk with other parents and take time to talk with your child about the good and bad of their experiences with technology.

2. Be humble. The reality is, your child is more tech savvy than you are, and they already know it. A humble and curious approach will gain you more access to what they’re up to and what they need from you.

3. Be consistent. As you work to find a healthy balance with technology, hold to it. New issues will arise, and you will need a method for developing new boundaries. Above all, try to make clear and definable boundaries and consequences which are as practical and consistent as possible.

4. Be honest. Your child needs you to know what’s going on in his or her life, both socially and online. However, it’s essential that you be candid about how you will be monitoring his her use of technology on the front end, as well as what boundaries and consequences are going to be enforced.

5. Be trustworthy. Just stating that they can “come to you with anything” isn’t enough. If they mess up and you blow up, it will be hard for them to come back to you with future missteps. Rather, if they come to you with a mistake, treat them like an apprentice and help them reflect and find meaning in their slip-up so they can have wisdom in the future.

6. Be together. Technology serves us best when it connects us. As a rule of thumb, make sure you’re spending more time together than time alone with tech. This also means to use technology together, which is how you model healthy boundaries to your kids.

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